We fret about taking too long of showers or leaving the lights on or eating meat or using cucumber melon body wash, but no matter what choices we make, our money is only feeding the beast, and our individual choices are swallowed up by a system that does not care if we live or die with poison in our veins—only that we never stop consuming, never stop working, never stop believing it’s all up to us to fix the world they’ve ravaged.
“By eating animal products, I’ve reintegrated myself into the cycle of life and death, birth and rebirth, killing and thriving. I feel a greater bond to my ancestors, distant and ancient, and a renewed connection to the people I break bread with, the places I visit, the passage of history and the beautiful multiplicity of culture, art, and cuisine.”
I am an artist and I am a business owner, and these two sides of me are often in direct opposition of each other. I can only make the most balanced decision I can at any given moment, and right now, that means prioritizing my short-term livelihood over my long-term vision until I have the freedom to focus entirely on the latter.
There are a vast number of people who do not believe I deserve to be paid for my labor, to put a roof over my head and food on the table, and instead believe I should be pouring my heart and soul into consumable products without charging a dime.
From start to finish, I had been working on this long-term vision for eighteen months before it ever saw the light of day. In those eighteen months I kicked two addictions, unpacked my trauma, wrote three books, finished college, and did everything in my power to create a better life internally and externally for myself.
This is true healing, at its core. It’s belief in our healers to guide us on the right path and belief in our body’s own ability to self-heal. It’s the recognition that everything affects everything else.
Connection is what humans crave most, and witches see it everywhere. We see that how we treat ourselves affects how we treat others, and how we honor our own land has a ripple effect across the earth.
What are you willing to sacrifice? How much discomfort are you willing to undergo in order to be reborn? What do you want your life to look like in ten years, and are you making choices now that are in alignment with that vision?
When I drank, I wanted to consume the whole world—bring all the light and sound and voice and touch into myself where I could hoard it all like a glutton and never feel empty again.
My art can be sexy and fun and difficult and deep and easy and escapist and real and anything we need it to be. We, as in me AND my readers, because it’s about all of us. I’m not just writing for me. And I’m not just writing for readers or the market either. It’s a balance.